Why you should vote Supreme in 2020


Fair use from Creative Commons

Tyler Wilbur, Executive Sports Editor

On Monday, December 4, Vermin Supreme sued Concord, New Hampshire. The city refused to grant him a permit that would allow him to protest with ponies.

What was he protesting?

Hillary Clinton’s book signing.

In less than 24 hours after his lawsuit, the city granted him a permit without the help of a judge, which just shows how respected he is as a politician.

It’s leaders like Supreme that we need in our government.


Because he’s committed to his beliefs.

After all, Supreme did follow through with his idea and did bring a pony to protest Clinton’s book signing. He had his boot on his head, as always, and a megaphone in his hand. Supreme even tried to bring the pony in the store. That’s some true dedication.

Vermin Love Supreme, the three time presidential nominee, has a very specific agenda. He believes every American should have a free pony. He also wants to put into place a mandatory tooth-brushing law, so he carries around a giant toothbrush to demonstrate this belief. Our great country needs strong teeth so we can keep an ability to bite back.

Vermin Supreme now considers himself a Libertarian, but he is not afraid to randomly switch parties as he has also run as a Republican and Democrat before. He has even showed interest of Anarchism. But you don’t need to worry about that.

In 2011, he dumped a glitter bomb on Randall Terry in New Hampshire at an event for lesser known candidates running for president. Most of the citizens in our country don’t want to have anything to do with nuclear bombs, so leave it to Supreme to solve our problems with glitter bombs.

He has campaigned on the zombie apocalypse as well as time travel research. Both which are necessary to the growth of our country. If AMC is right, we could be living in a zombie apocalypse soon. And if we can time travel, we can go back in time and prevent it.

In response to the zombie apocalypse, Vermin wants to build giant turbines, attach the zombies to the turbines, and dangle brains in front of them in hopes to harvest energy. The reasoning is to reduce foreign oil imported into America. What a guy, am I right? In order to improve our economy, we need to cut down on foreign imports and this will do just that.

When Supreme went to register to run in New Hampshire for the 2016 election, his toothbrush was confiscated along with a gun inside of his boot, but how could you blame a guy who doesn’t get protection from the Secret Service? How is it fair that Clinton and Obama get protection but Vermin doesn’t?

When running in 2012, he had a simple approach to foreign policy: Go back in time and destroy Islamic States. In 2016, while running for president he honored us by appearing in front of the Londonderry High School gym. It was then that he asked Donald Trump Jr. if his dad would go back in time with Vermin to kill Hitler


Some of you may know Jeb Bush said he would kill Hitler, but Supreme said he would kill baby Hitler.

Even though the election is three years away, what reason do you have to not vote for Supreme? Obama started campaigning early and he won his election. Supreme is quite honest in describing himself. In his words, he is a “tyrant you can trust” and  a “friendly fascist.” He also says he will lie to you because he has no reason not to. Sure, other politicians lie, but at least he is one of the few to be responsible enough to own doing it. I don’t see Trump or Clinton admitting their lies…

Take a look into Supreme’s personal life and you will find even more of a reason to like the guy. He donated one of his kidneys to save his mother. This shows characteristics of an unselfish leader, someone who looks out for others even if it costs himself something.

If you care about politicians owning up to their actions, you can count on Supreme. “Yes I am a politician, I will promise your electorate heart anything you desire,” said Supreme. Isn’t that what they all do anyways?

Some of his best quotes?

“I have no intention of keeping any promise that I make,” he said.

“Vote early, vote often,” he said

“Remember, a vote for Vermin Supreme is a vote completely thrown away,” he said.

If Trump can say absurd things and win the election, Supreme saying this can only help him right? If he has little publicity he needs to get himself out there. These outrageously funny quotes along with suing Concord and protesting with ponies is a good start.

“It is not about the government toothpaste containing an addicting yet harmless substance,” “It is not about the DNA gene splicing to create a race of winged monkeys to act as tooth fairies… what this mandatory toothbrushing law is actually about is strong teeth for a strong America,” said Supreme.

How can you not love a guy that says that in two consecutive sentences? He cares so much about your personal dental hygiene. He could be the parent of every American.

To add in one more thing that may make you become pro-Supreme, “Let me run your life because I do know what’s best for you,” said Supreme.

As we all know, Donald Trump’s memo is “Make America Great Again” which I give credit too. It’s simple and has a good message.

Vermin Supreme’s memo? “You’ve Done Worse, and You Know It”.

Give the man some props for that. And maybe to mock Trump’s memo, “Make America a sea of shining smiles from sea to shining sea,” said Supreme at a democratic meeting.

There are so many videos that you must see of this man. They will for sure have you laughing until you can’t breathe and maybe even sway you to vote for him.