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I didn’t mean to

Photo by Kelly B. @CC https://goo.gl/P5Pevw

Photo by Kelly B. @CC https://goo.gl/P5Pevw

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My parents only used that clock to tell the time

Whenever I went outside they would always say

Be back by 4 o’clock

I was always back on the dot

I never wanted to disobey my parents

I didn’t mean to

I was in the woods digging worms from the mud patch that was created in the rain storm

Little did I know the worms would be the only ones to hear me scream

But I loved playing in the mud, my mom hated me getting dirty

I didn’t mean to

The mud was soft, I picked it up and it ran through the cracks of my fingers

The mud was always so cold

I went in the mud feet first

Each step was harder than the next

I was sinking

3:55

The mud was above my knees and there was no way I was getting out

I tried to kick and prod but it was up to my stomach

Breathing so heavy I could see ripples in the mud ahead of me

I stopped trying

3:56

I stopped moving, stopped kicking, flailing my arms, stopped all motion

I stopped sinking

Almost neck deep in the dark, cold, pit

3:57

I sat there waiting

3:58

Slowly I started to sink again

Then I knew

I was sinking because all the burdens I was carrying were too heavy

One by one I threw them off

3:59

I still sank and so did my hope

I let fate do the rest

I was merely a head in the mud, fighting and fighting for my each and every breath

My eyes were the only part that’s left

It’s funny how much more you appreciate things when you know you’re not going to have them anymore

The sky was a light blue color, like a baby bird

There were few clouds, like little puffs of smoke riding the ride of the wind

The sun shined but not on me

It shined the mud that was surrounding me

The mud looked glossy, like dark honey

Ding. Ding. Ding.

Ding.

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2 Comments

2 Responses to “I didn’t mean to”

  1. Anonymous on February 23rd, 2018 2:02 pm

    I like the creativity in this piece, but I just can’t seem to understand the meaning behind it? You need to go home but there are thoughts in your head, or are you actually sinking in the mud? What did you not mean to do? I just feel like there are a lot of unanswered questions in this piece. That could be good, but with this article, I’m not sure if it really makes sense. But still, this is more than most people can write, and it makes others think about their surroundings.

  2. Anonymous on March 6th, 2018 12:35 pm

    I like the double meaning behind this. I like how it starts light, and gets deeper, as you start to understand.
    I think it was cool how you made it seem like the dirt was the real problem in the first place. And maybe the dirt is really the problem, and maybe I’m just imagining that you trailed into a deeper hedge with how it was more of an…emotional feel.
    So, I thank you for that.

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I didn’t mean to