The royal pain: your guide to escaping the kings

The Kings. A Londonderry driver’s biggest fear. The series of cruel roundabouts, deadly dead ends, and fatal streets that lead to the deepest, darkest parts of Londonderry. Once you enter there is little chance of coming out alive.

One of the first things your mother told you when you got your license was “avoid The Kings, it’s a death sentence, especially at night.” But you being the rebelling teenager that you are, go into The Kings at night.

You turn right onto King Arthur off Otterson, and you are driving along, you get on to King Charles then you drive some more. Then you end up on King Phillip.

You are now officially lost in The Kings.

You have no idea where you are and you start to get scared. You say to yourself, “ I should have just listened to my mommy.” Well, I have some suggestions for you if you find yourself in this tight situation.

If you are lost in The Kings, here’s what should you do:

Pull over and use your GPS.
Go up to someone’s house and ask them how to get out.
Get out of your car and just start yelling for help.
Get out and walk to a gas station maybe they can help.
Call your friend so you won’t be alone when you are now both lost in the kings.
Call the police (please don’t).
Just drive and see where you end up.
Call your Mommy or Daddy–maybe they can help.
Find Mr.H or Mr. Sowa they can help you.
Steal Some little kids bike and ride home.
“Run forest run.”
Take out the map of Londonderry that you have in your glove box.
Sleep in your car until someone finds you.
Just start beeping your horn, someone is bound to help you.
When all else fails just set up camp, you ain’t leaving The Kings.

Maybe this will help, maybe not, but hey,good luck getting out and safe travels.