Photo courtesy of Gracie McInnis

Senior Gracie McInnis said even though her mom did not give birth to her, “she is better than anything I could have asked for.”

What does it take to be a mother? I believe that you don’t need to give birth to be one, and if you do give birth, it does not mean you are one. My mother did not give birth to me, but she is better than anything I could have asked for. 

Being a mother means that you are caring and have the instincts to take care of something. When I was young, my parents adopted me, and ever since that day my mother has been by my side through thick and thin. She has wiped away every tear and let me lean on her when I need it. My birth mother still calls herself my mother, no matter how many people tell her she isn’t.

Having a child and raising a child are two different things. When you raise a child, you are supposed to show that you care and will be there for them as much as you can. Having a child is an act, and although it takes work to do, it is not the deciding factor to being a mom. 

The difference between my mom and the woman that gave birth to me goes far beyond who raised me and how much they were in my life. Just by my mom adopting me, she made a lifelong commitment to what could have been considered a lost cause. She took time out of her own life and decided to raise a complete stranger, and for sixteen of my eighteen years, she has been there for me. For fourteen of those years, she has been the most amazing mother I could ever ask for.

After my first “breakup” back in first grade when the boy I was “dating” moved away, she was there the entire time that I cried. And still to this day after every heartbreak she makes me laugh and says “there will be another.” When I scraped my knees when learning to ride a bike, she was the first person to pick me up and say “try again.” And at every school concert, I looked for her in the crowd. 

The woman that gave birth to me did nothing beyond that. She only mentions having me on my birthday or for bragging rights, as if I am a trophy. This woman has not seen me since I was a baby and never once tried to reach out to get to know me. She wouldn’t even be able to tell you my favorite color if you asked.

My mom could tell you that my favorite color is green, but it is a shade of green similar to emerald, but darker, like forest green. She could tell you the first song I learned to sing was “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus and after that, it was “Firework” by Katy Perry, and still be able to go on from there. The woman that gave birth to me would probably not even be able to tell you what color my eyes are. That is the difference between a mother and giving birth.

Anyone can give birth. But it takes a special kind of person to raise a child, not only raise, but take care of, nurture, and form into the best person that they can be. 

I believe that giving birth to a child is the minimum amount of work that it takes to being a mother. Although it may be painful, birth is really not the biggest step to it and my mom has shown that through her love and devotion to raising and taking care of me.