Dividers provide privacy, end bathroom anxiety

A satirical poem to honor the new dividers in the boys’ bathroom.


TJ Ruzicka

Stay tuned for further coverage of the new urinal dividers located in the main lobby bathroom.

There is a hallelujah in my heart,

That at a whisper never ceases,

And an open air that blows,

Between us and all our pieces.

All the rogue stares,

That fall between my thighs,

This indecent exposure,

Brings tears to my eyes.

There shan’t be more,

Of this bathroom frustration,

Not a day longer,

Of public urination.

No more awkward,

Stares or glances,

No more gawky,

Guarded stances.

We yelled and cawed,

Demanded and pleaded,

And now after too much time,

The wall-less have conceded.

Soon in every bathroom,

Around this school,

Will be dividers between urinals,

Giving privacy to our tools.

Thank you, custodians, administrators,

And all those that made this happen,

Now all we need is a fan,

For when we’re acrappin’.