Can’t a man just get his cookies?

Ahhh… The Lancer IDs – the little card that holds your school photo and a constant reminder that everyone’s school pictures suck. This card enables you to efficiently get your lunch and snacks, allowing you to attend to your tummy needs faster. Isn’t it a real shame we can’t use them nowadays?

I mean this card gives you food, it’s A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. But there is one treat you cannot obtain with this miracle piece of plastic. One of Lancer Nation’s most delicious delicacies: the Lancer Locker cookie.

It really is a tragedy, but the famous Lancer Locker, the school store located at the bottom of the ramp in the 300’s, has a policy that says that they do not accept ID cards. I not only can’t access the school store since the school is currently closed, but even if it were open, I couldn’t get those cookies since I’m broke and got no dough. Pun intended. 

Before you go and start complaining to Mr. Greene, teacher and head of the Lancer Locker for the past 11 years (that’s back when Britney Spears was still relevant), about how this policy must be vetoed, WAIT! I already did. 

The Lancer Locker is located down the ramp and is open throughout the school day. The Lancer Locker was selling pretzels during E period. (Photo by Sathvik Manam)

For those who don’t know what the Lancer Locker is, it is the school store located below the ramp. The Lancer Locker is a part of the school that students and staff alike take pride in. The Lancer Locker itself is a great learning opportunity for students and a great part of the community that is Lancer Nation.

“It’s an opportunity for students to get hands-on work, dealing with the financials, and a little bit of customer service,” Greene said, “They do get a quarter credit for working there for each semester that they work. We are able to give back to the community and that’s where most of the school’s store profits go to. Last year we gave $3,000 worth of scholarships to students. We donate to various organizations around the school. The money that the store makes goes back into the school.”

The Lancer Locker gives back to the community in the ways Greene explained, but at the end of the day, the Lancer Locker is still a private part of the school. Yes, its demographic is Lancer Nation, but it operates outside of the school and hence is not part of the Department of Dining Services. 

So back to the point: why can’t the school store accept ID cards? Well, the ID cards belong to the Department of Dining Services, and since the Lancer Locker is not part of that Department, the school store can’t really use something that isn’t theirs. The Lancer Locker has tried to partner with the Department of Dining Services, but negotiations haven’t really worked.

“I would love to partner with the cafeteria and use IDs,” Greene said, “but I have pursued in the past and they have declined the option.”

Junior Grace Harpster sells cookies to two freshmen during E Period. The two freshmen paid in cash because the Lancer Locker does not accept ID cards. (Photo by Sathvik Manam)

So the only sane option we have right now is to charge, rampage, and raid the cafeteria until the lunch ladies gives us what we want, right? NO! [Lancer Spirit Online does not condone the usage of weaponry on the nice and friendly cafeteria ladies or any usage of weaponry on anything.]

The Department of Dining Services definitely had valid reasons for why compromises couldn’t be made. Amanda Venizia, Director of Dining Services, explained how that decision really came down to financials.

“We are part federally funded. When you are talking about government money, things get a little dicey,” Venezia said. “If that money was to be taken and put towards something like the school store which is outside of our jurisdiction, that would definitely be a red flag for a federal financial audit. That would be very difficult.”

The moral of the story is, like most things in life, the government is to blame for the problems. With the government in charge of where money goes, Venezia can’t just use that money wherever she wants. Yes, the Lancer Locker is part of the school and gives us food, but that does not mean it is part of the Department of Dining Services.

That is why negotiations have to be made to include the Lancer Locker as part of the Department of Dining Services.The Lancer Locker and the Department of Dining Services only want to deliver the best services for the students and staff. Too bad, so sad for me though. I guess I’m just gonna have to suck it up and bring in cash to eat the Lancer Locker cookie once the school gets open again.